Coffee with Ameena #14

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I spend way too much time on Pinterest reading grey’s anatomy quotes, even though I do not watch the series. It’s so bad that I already have a favorite, simply from reading the series quotes. Her name’s Amelia. If we were having coffee, I’d see your raised brows and judgy eyes, questioning my sanity and hide my face behind my huge and almost empty mug of coffee.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I am finally done with amniotic fluid and vaginal bleeding, and I have moved on to runny noses and crying children. I’d tell you how I am writing this post, in between a hectic paediatric Night call; my first call in the department actually; and I am determined to not let these children drive me insane.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you how it never gets old when a mother brings her 3/4 month old baby and complains that the baby is having a headache… yeah, because a 3/4 month old baby can vocalise that.

If we were having coffee, I’d confess to you how anxious most phone calls and chat messages make me. Seeing a phone number pop up on my screen elicits an overwhelming emotion accompanied with heart racing and sometimes, abdominal flutters (and not the good kind). I know, I know, you are thinking “It’s just a phone call”, and if I could explain the irrational response, I would, but I can’t.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask you to imagine having to go through this emotional upheaval countless times in a day, and then add to that, the anxiety of family members urging “you should call x and y; why didn’t you pick x and y’s call” and all you want to say is, “you don’t know what it feels like and I can’t explain”.

As we sip through our coffee, I’d smile because I know you’re thinking, I’m simply making an excuse.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you how the last time I went to go see the dentist was about 13 years ago when they fixed an appointment to have my tooth removed and never saw my face again. Well, after a sleepless night due to toothache, I found myself in the dentist office on a blessed work-day morning. I had curettage done and before the dentist began, I remember looking at her and saying, “so I want to Mentally prepare myself before hand. Is it going to hurt”….

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I was talking so much while the dentist was trying to curettage my molar yesterday, (the talking was probably a combination of nerves and pain… this is me trying to defend my actions), anyway, I was talking so much with her hand in my mouth that Dentist was like “Doctor, don’t bite me o”.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you happiness is relative and a smiling face doesn’t necessarily mean a smiling soul and sometimes, one foot in front of the other is what gets us through the day. If we were having coffee, I’d remind you that its okay not to be okay. You don’t have to talk to everybody, but do talk to someone; We aren’t meant to go through this walk of life alone… If we were having coffee, I’d remind you that of course I know- it is easier said than done.

If we were having coffee, after I wipe the last few drops of coffee from my lips, I’d laugh remembering the people in my life. If I can tease and you can take it; then you are welcome into my circus. And to you, I’ll say- I hope you’ve found your tribe and I hope you’ve found your circus.

And thats all for today… Wishing you a phenomenal week ahead filled with lots of love, laughter and of course, coffee.