coffee conversations

Coffee with Ameena #10

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that last week tried my spirit. I’d tell you how the spirit of gratitude is one of the things that got me through the week. If we were having coffee, I’d try my best to make the date humorous, even though I am in need of humour myself. I’d ask you not to have a pity party for me, it is what it is, let’s just have a talk about it, sip our coffee over our woes and keep it pushing.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you since I started working, my menstrual cycle has decided to rebel against its normal schedule. I’d tell you how on Tuesday, we were in the middle of emergencies in the labor room when I looked at the senior doctor beside me and said, “I think my period is here”. And sure as the air we breath in is made up of oxygen, the period was here without notice. Once again, thank God for zorodol, panadol extra, diclofenac. If you know, you know.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I haven’t been a nice person the past week. I’ve been snappy and irritable and flitting back and forth and apologising to patients for being irritable and then turning around and being a bit more snappy and its been difficult to control and I am angry and I’m sorry and I am writing this sentence without a full stop or a comma in between to explain the frustration I’ve been feeling and sadly, exuding at a stretch.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I was about to break down in the middle of the night and as the tears began to cloud my eyes, I got a call that there was an emergency for me. I remember just sitting there and thinking to myself, “someone can’t even cry in peace again”.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you, I didn’t make it through the week all there. I’d tell you how after a hectic and mentally draining call night, the next day during work, I didn’t know when I left my emergency station, came to the call room and emptied my tear ducts for a good fifteen minutes, before walking back to the emergency. Don’t judge, it was one of those days.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about my stash of memories for the people in my life, where I can dip into when things go bad, to remind myself that “regardless of where we are right now, this person once gave me a beam of sunshine on a cloudy day”. I had one such addition to my stash today. A friend called me this week when I really needed it, and although at the moment, I was unappreciative, the effort meant a lot and the jokes He sent afterwards were Hilarious. If we were having coffee, I’d remind you, never underestimate the impact of a small act, of something as inordinate as a phone call.

If we were having coffee, I’d apologise for being a bit of a debbie downer this week, but I promise you, I am okay. I’d give you an extra tight hug, and hope you have an incredible week ahead filled with lots of love, laughter and coffee…

1 thought on “Coffee with Ameena #10”

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